Grief: Do you feel like you’re drowning?

hands above water
woman looking at sea while sitting on beach

Grief: Do you feel like you’re drowning? I sure did, and it seemed to last a very long time.

Webster’s definition of grief

Webster’s definition of grief: is deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement or poignant distress: painfully affecting the feelings or pain or suffering affecting the body.

What is Grief?

Grief comes from many things; the most often thought of is the death of someone. Or maybe it’s the death of a relationship ending in divorce or separation—the loss of a career, illness, etc.

The one thing that is the great equalizer in our lives is heartbreak. I don’t think one human on this earth gets away without it. Heartbreak and grief are so personal. Each person experiences it differently.

How would we know joy if we have never known sadness? The good vs evil, the ying vs yang.

First Heartache

We have about 276,000 days in our life. There have to be many heartaches on that many days. I remember my first heartache when I was 14 yrs old. I cried and cried over a boy. My mom told me, you don’t cry; there will be many more heartaches in your life. I was furious at her for that. But guess what? She was right—many more with way more trauma.

Grief I feel like I am drowning

Death is one trauma I have experienced, and it’s not new to me either, but I think with age, I am coming to realize it is more of a new normal for me than ever before.

I read a beautiful article from a man describing grief, and since I am such a mermaid, I could relate to it.

He talks about how when a death occurs; we feel like we are drowning, and grief waves keep crashing over us. I feel I have been underwater now for two years.

Sometimes we need to let go and surrender.


Grief is a tricky emotion.

I stopped doing all my favorite things, such as scuba diving. Diving became a chore, and I would find hundreds of excuses why I couldn’t go. Now, this should’ve been the first thing I caught, but I was so wrapped up that I didn’t even notice. The things I once loved, I had no desire to do. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into years. I stopped accepting invitations and phone calls and wouldn’t answer texts. The despair was heavy. I didn’t think I would ever see the light again.

When I get sick with the flu or cold, especially with a fever, I never know how sick I was until I came out of the illness. It is the same with grief. I didn’t realize it was that bad until finally, my head is clear. I can see color again and hear the birds sing. One day it changed.

If you have grief in your life, hold on. The days will become brighter. It will happen when the time is right for you. Keep talking about it to friends and family until you can get through the story without breaking down. Treat yourself with kindness and love, and try not to play the what-if game too long.

This too shall pass, my friend.

With love


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