As I sit here on my deck looking up at the cloudless baby blue sky and endless sea listening to the birds sing and chirp to a melody only they can understand. I reflect back to a much heavier darker time in my life. A time where nothing changed, a time where forgiveness was not in my vocabulary, a time where the pain of being me was like scalding oil penetrating into my soul. My deep hatred of self that propelled me into a dark world of no color or light.
Through sheer tenacity, help from a few dedicated people, my world became full of light and color. It was through this journey that I received the most powerful gift, hope.
Through out my life people have told me to write a book about my life. It was usually after I shared a part of my life to them and the typical response was ” wow, you really should write a book” I’m not sure if that was to cover up there shock or they really meant it. Maybe a little of both.
Over the years I have written in countless journals about my pain, sorrow and adventures of active addiction. I have written hundreds of words in my attempts at getting well through the 12 step recovery program, which after years of trying, finally stuck.
I love the quote by Stephen King about becoming a writer, ” you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.”
So here I go. I hope you receive something that you can take with you.